It is a struggle overcoming two things that at one point completely controlled your life. Every thought. Every move. Every. Single. Thing. I didn’t go to work without doing a line or two. I didn’t clean without lines. I didn’t go out without lines. I literally didn’t do anything without lines.
That fueled the anorexia. You do coke, you don’t eat. I felt myself getting hungry, I did a line. I would go days without eating. Sometimes, my roommate would make food and basically force us to eat. “No lines till we eat.”
The life I had back home was destructive.
Now I want my life to be productive.
a shot
a line
the burn
heart racing
eyes glazing
everyone’s chatty
bong rip
shot
line
body goes numb
face melts away
happiness takes over
blurry vision
fuzzy speech
want to stay happy?
do another line
and another
and
another
until you can no longer remember
happiness without her
